Aftermath, endnote and a message from Bryan

(prev) When the McGuires eventually did leave (without any farewells of course - but at this point, who can really blame them?), Beth snatched the cookies and whatever unused veggies that they had brought (despite the fact that most of the guests still remained). The one guest that tried to bid them farewell (my cousin Jimmy, a kind soul - especially with a few beers under his belt), was unaware of the siutation and naively (or fortified with liquid courage) attempted to engage them in car-side 'farewell banter' - with predictable results and stoney silence. In any case, once Beth had left, other members of the family finally felt comfortable gathering in the kitchen to lend a hand. It was also at this point that Sue discovered that - Beth. Had. Taken. Their. Wedding. Presents. Back. Yowzah! (Guess that'll teach us. And shit, I had just dusted shelf-space).

Amazingly, Sue didn't hear from any of her family afterwards (a planned 'in-law brunch and clean-up party' - originally suggested by her mother - went on the following day without them). Not knowing how to approach the situation, Sue waited a few days, then finally sent the McGuire family (it was addressed to Beth) a 'how could you' e-mail (heart-wrenchingly polite BTW - I was actually slightly annoyed that it was, what I told her, 'sugar coated' and felt that it needed more 'fang'. However, Sue, the one true vicitm in all of this, was more heartbroken than angry and is far more genteel than I). This e-mail resulted in a rather abusive, violent and almost frightening voice-mail from Bryan (*warning* - .MP3 sound file - Not Safe For Work due to harsh language) left at Sue's office, which I subsquently turned into a less threatening, but still pretty nifty dance mix (*warning* - .MP3 sound file - also NSFW ) using my mad keyboard/mixing skillz. The message itself? Yelling at a woman. Check. Bawdy language. Check. Death Threat. Check. And there goes the irony meter - right off the scale. I'd also argue that the dude needs professional help (As do I, if this page and the 'Dance Mix' are any indications. Damn you OCD).

A few weeks later, during a couple of tense phone calls and a brief meeting, the MIL initially, and amazingly, blamed Sue (there's goes that credit). Apparently the short notice (we had been engaged for four years - announced the wedding six weeks away) had stressed somebody out. We're not entirely sure who, or why. After all, everyone else managed just fine - including my father who tore apart our fence, a few days before the wedding, in order to install a gate and accommodate 70+ guests in our smallish lot. The McGuires meanwhile, were neither expected, or asked, to help out at any pre, or post, wedding chores (they even managed to duck out of the 'clean-up party' the next day) Nor, other than the hors d’hourves that Beth tried to throw in the garbage and then later took home, did anyone, specifically Beth and Bryan, so much as offer to lend a hand to their sister. So I'd ask - what stress?!! The (so-called) MIL even went so far as to wonder if the 'rush' was because Sue was expecting (considering that we had lived together for over ten tears - wouldn't we have simply told them rather than staging such an elaborate ruse?) Most of the blame, however, was reserved for, tah-dah, yours truly - for threatening "Baby Bryan" (he's 33 fercrissakes) and using bawdy language in the ensuing melee. No explanation for Bryan or Beth's behavior. No apologies. Nothing. Refused to even acknowledge Bryan's phone message. Didn't 'know' anything about his behavior beforehand. Wasn't 'sure' what happened at the Chapel. Whatever. Funny thing, we all got along pretty well (I thought) for over ten years - it was only at the wedding that ca-ca hit the fan. Or was it? A friend (in the health sector) later chastised me for 'not seeing this coming' when I told him that this behavior came "out of the blue". He theorized (probably correctly, considering his background) that there would have been 'warning signs' all along, and that the events described were quite possibly the result of - quoting here - "a lifetime of unchecked bad behavior". Maybe the FIL's crack about "raising children" had some merit after all.

Endnote and Update - still haven't talked to any of the McGuires since. The only communication has been a Christmas card from her mother (and to think I gave her any credit), very noticeably addressed to 'Ms. McGuire' (yeah, we get the point). Hilarious in its pettiness (but all things considered, not terribly surprising). Then there was the recent hand-scribbled letter, outlining Sue's father's surgery, months after the fact (and even then, only after Sue had been told firsthand by her Uncle Bruce, when he called to wish us a Happy 1st Anniversary). Nice.

Oh yeah - one more thing. From the 'Hope Springs Eternal' Department: our wedding ceremony featured a 'family unity candle' service - that's when two candles are lit, then both candles are used to light a third. Supposed to represent the two families joining to create a new family (all together now - ahhhh). An option suggested by the Vicar, Sue and I thought it was a nice touch. Obviously, and considering the circumstances, it became more than a little ludicrous. Well, it was discovered the next day that the Unity Candles ended getting smashed to bits. A much more fitting and appropriate symbol I think.

Okay. That's the end of our wedding back-story. The nicer memories will be posted someplace else. To all the guests who turned a ''blind eye' to the events going on around them - a heartfelt thanks. To the long suffering Minister (woefully underpaid - probably needed combat pay) - please don't judge all of us by the actions of some (and thanks for putting an end to the nonsense when it really counted). To my wonderful wife - I will always love you dearly. I'm just sorry that I couldn't have given you an absolutely perfect day when we finally made it official. The renewal of our vows will be different (Beach? Elvis impersonator? Waddya say...)

Next: Bryan's Song (Audio file. Harsh language - Not Safe For Work)

Feel free to contact me - sdouglas @ steve douglas dot com
(e-mail fudged to avoid spam harvesters)

Now, having read some of my life story, why don't you just go home. Or here