Reception brawling.

(prev) Outside the house (and before most guests had arrived), I intercepted Beth behind their car (as not to cause a scene in front of the few guests that had already arrived). I told her - with as much calm as I could muster - that she was "not to talk to me like that again" I also told her that while she was at our house, she would "behave (her)self". So-called 'Father In Law' (McGuire) was actually in their car, and lept out from the back seat (as much as an old dude can leap), bug-eyed and outraged, screaming that I "wasn't to talk to (his) baby girl like that!" (somewhat ironic really - considering Beth's antics and language at the Chapel, and what she's about to say to my daughter. When viewed in the context of Bryan's phone message, the irony goes off the scale). He then went on to inform me that yes, I was in fact, an asshole...

That developed into a huge argument between the FIL, Beth, my 16-year old daughter, 15-year old son and yours truly outside the house, just as guest were arriving. Some saw the commotion and went around the block a few times. Neighbors, some cutting their lawns, others walking their dogs in the park beside the house, stopped to watch the increasingly loud spectacle. During the commotion I was called (among other, less polite things) a liar. Beth claimed that Bryan had declined signing the registry "politely" - laughable really. Ignoring the realities of what had actually happened, how does anyone refuse signing his sister's wedding registry 'politely'? (My father would later opine that Bryan "didn't have a polite bone in his body"). After telling Beth & Company to "just leave", my 16 year old daughter was told to '***** off' (pretty rich considering that I wasn't to talk to 'his baby girl' - a 42 year old woman - 'that way'). Beth also told Amy that she "couldn't tell anyone to leave" because she, Beth, "owned this house (our house!) more than (my daughter) did" and that Amy was "s-o-o-o-o-o wrong" for thinking otherwise (WTF???) Throughout all of this, the newly married Mrs. Douglas was in hysterics (who can blame her) on the sidewalk outside the house, leading me to scream - "This is your daugher's wedding day!!! What the **** are you people doing?!!" Her father's snarled response to that was, and I'm quoting here - "I don't care!" (Yeah, No kidding).

In the house, the FIL tried to hurl wedding presents at me but luckily enough, the first projectile he picked up was a little heavy (the dude is 70+ after all). I almost admired his tenacity. Sue wasnt so charitable and screamed at her family that "Nobody throws anything in (her) house!" while wrestling the large gift-box from his grasp. That resulted in a near fisticuffs inside the house (I couldn't believe that such an elderly dude wanted to go a few rounds) which would have been kinda hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic. Beth then tried to throw some wedding cookies and a veggie tray - the only McGuire contribution to the wedding - in the garbage ("I'd rather throw them out than let these people have them" was her rationale). I helpfully pointed out the refuse can in the park beside the house, but Beth was stopped by the MIL.

After about 45 minutes of this nonsense, I lost my head, developed Tourettes Syndrome and (oops) called Beth the 'C' word (a phrase I generally avoid) which lead to more fun and frivolity all around, including the FIL demanding to know if yelling at a "little girl" (she's 42 fercrissakes) made me "feel like a man" (I was also to find out later that the so-called in-laws have "never heard such language", a position that probably wasn't helped when I suggested to Beth's father that he "muzzle that bitch"). I make no excuses. By this time I was pissed. Capital P. Hell, I even went as far as to tell the whole lot of them to "get the **** out of my house", which they refused to do - Beth stating that she wouldn't leave "because (I) couldn't afford this house" (wha.. ???). It was also pointed out that I "must not have a problem with the way (the McGuires) raised (their) children, as I wanted to marry one" (wha..?!!), which , like most of their jabs and barbs, was a non sequitur to what was being argued about. (However, to this particular comment I felt it was my duty to point out that Sue was a Midwich Cuckoo (look it up) when compared to her siblings. She. Is. Nothing. Like. Them). While Sue looked on in horror, she was also being screamed at by Beth who ranted (repeatedly and within inches of Sue's face) that Bryan had come to the wedding "for (her)" a claim, which obviously, is nothing short of ludicrous. The MIL went one step further, claiming that Bryan came "out of respect for" Sue and "to honor his sister". Uh-huh. Next time, spare us the 'respect' and 'honor'. We'll take civil instead. Or even better - complete frikkin' absence... Next: The "bitch in the kitchen"