The Wedding (almost) from Hell

Originally posted on a forum as part of a 'in-laws from hell' thread, but worthwhile reposting here.

Neither I, or the Mrs, have talked to (my) in-laws (the McGuires) in over a year. Some of you may remember that Sue and I got married in August 2005. The (supposed) in-laws caused such a ruckus at the wedding that we haven't talked to any of them since (or perhaps more accurately - they haven't talked to us).

In 1000 words or more, *some* highlights -

Originally, Sue and I had planned to get married in Cuba (or Mexico) as part of our (almost) annual holidays. We figured that it wouldn't be too cool for the parental units to miss out (and an alternate plan of flying the parents down to join the festivities was deep-sixed due to Sue's father's bad health - he wasn't allowed to fly). So, in order to accommodate Ma & Pa McGuire, Sue's parents (the irony of which will soon become apparent), we planned a small tradtitional wedding (30 or so guests) at a tiny (but quaint) greenhouse Wedding Chapel, with a small informal reception (70 or so guests) at the house afterwards. We've got a pretty scenic backyard, complete with pond, and having a reception at the house had always been part of Sue's plans. It would also double as my family's annual picnic.

I ended up having to threaten my so-called brother-in-law, Bryan, with a good old-fashioned ass-walloping (yikes!). At this point, we'll probably need to back up for a not-so-quick overview. For reasons still unkown, Bryan had been a complete ass the month before the wedding to the soon-to-be Mrs. Douglas. From the minute we made the wedding announcement and tried to organize our day, Bryan refused to as much as talk to Sue, let alone offer any co-operation to his sister. Right up to the wedding, Bryan's invitation lay unopened on the hall table at Ma and Pa McGuire's house (he still lives with them). No RSVP. He wouldn't return any of Sue's phone calls - whether it was messages left on voice-mail or with her parents. And if Bryan did answer the phone when Sue called, he quickly dropped the phone or handed it to the person closest. When Sue went to her folk's house, she wasn't even able to discuss things face-to-face as Bryan physically dodged her using the most infantile methods imaginable. Some more memorable examples:

* While coming into the house (and discovering Sue was visiting her parents) he rushed by her - holding a McDonald's bag up to his face - pretending to read the fine-print (expecting, one might suppose, Sue not to notice him???),
* Running out the side door when Sue arrived at the front, scurrying across the driveway and down the street,
* Using his cell phone - while 'hiding' in the basement - to call upstairs to the landline while Sue was present at the McGuire household (call display really is a bitch). Sue's sister would answer these 'calls' and take the remote-phone into another room, snickering all the while (obviously unaware that the 'jig was up').
* Closing hallway and stairway doors when moving about as not to be 'seen'. Etc.

All fine if he was ten - this guy's in his mid thirties. To this day, Sue doesn't know what his issues were, nor has anyone else offered up any explanation (other than the 'Mother In Law' stating, two weeks before the wedding, that Bryan's antics were probably the result of him "needing some time to get his head around (us) getting married". A not entirely logical explanation considering Sue and I have lived together since 1995 without any previous issues with any of the McGuires - or at least, any issues that we're aware of). In any case, her parentals were more than aware of the situation - even suggesting one night that Sue stop off at her sister Beth's house (she lives, alone, at her Grandma's old place) as they felt Sue was too upset and visibly shaken by Bryan's actions to drive home.

Funny thing too - at the MILs urging, Bryan (coupled with Beth) was originally supposed to be in the wedding party - along with my two children, Amy (then 16) and Matthew (then 15)... Next: Bryan gets 'disinvited' - Shows up anyway